So, this is my last post before vacation. I had to share this, because it's right up there with last year's Twisted Sister revelation and the Monster Ballads Xmas CD that I saw advertised late one night. . . .
Highly Recommended Thing Of The Moment: A Very Perry Christmas
My roommate freshman year of college LOVED Journey. I'd never really listened to them before then, but I am intimately familiar with their greatest hits album now, and A Very Perry Christmas cracked me up.
And . . . getting back to work: now.
Friday Timewaster: Barcode Bedlam and Last-Minute Gift Ideas
I really need to buckle down and get to work, because I theoretically have three FOUR projects I need to finish by 4:30. However . . . I've put them off this long, so what's another fifteen FORTY-FIVE minutes, right? Right.
Anyhow: I didn't have a real timewaster handy, but as I scanned my Drafts folder I realized that there were a handful of random bits and pieces with the annotation "Want!" or "How cool is this?" Thus, I thought I'd do a big mash-up in case people need last-minute gift ideas. (Although these would have to be Serbian Christmas* presents at this point, but whatever. You could always print the photo of the item and stick it in the card, which is what I was going to do with the book I ordered for Cathy for her birthday, except then I lost track of where the printed photo went, so she just had to believe my scribbled note that an actual gift was coming.)
So, if you're in the market for snarky t-shirts with vaguely retro, pop culture, or geeky themes (and who isn't?): Try Diesel Sweeties, or perhaps Snorg Tees. Some samples:
Anyhow: I didn't have a real timewaster handy, but as I scanned my Drafts folder I realized that there were a handful of random bits and pieces with the annotation "Want!" or "How cool is this?" Thus, I thought I'd do a big mash-up in case people need last-minute gift ideas. (Although these would have to be Serbian Christmas* presents at this point, but whatever. You could always print the photo of the item and stick it in the card, which is what I was going to do with the book I ordered for Cathy for her birthday, except then I lost track of where the printed photo went, so she just had to believe my scribbled note that an actual gift was coming.)
So, if you're in the market for snarky t-shirts with vaguely retro, pop culture, or geeky themes (and who isn't?): Try Diesel Sweeties, or perhaps Snorg Tees. Some samples:
If you like a certain artist, but wonder what it would be like if, say, Ozzy Osbourne fronted a lounge band, or if the Beastie Boys had a jam session with some of the guys from P-Funk, check out Vitamin Records.
A few more music-related items. . .
- Check out this poster: History Shots: Genealogy of Pop & Rock Music.
- Also nifty? 45 iPod Cases: Digital meets Analog.
- Making me drool: Save your LPs to anything with the Faltima 010.
Meanwhile, I suppose you could kill time at work by playing Barcode Bedlam.
Meanwhile, from the "In case you care . . . " department: This is pretty much the last post from me until January. Yay, vacation!
*January 7 — They follow the old calendar.
Obligatory Holiday-Related Post: Six in a Series
This is awesome. And the kind of thing I would do if I were not so lazy.
If "Christmas song performed by Neil Diamond, Stryper, and Barney" was in your letter to Santa this year, boy are you in luck.
Presenting, I'm pretty sure for the first time, "Winter Wonderland" sung by the greatest mix of stars our planet has to offer.
Visit The Sneeze to hear it in all its glory.
Obligatory Holiday-Related Post: Five in a Series
Today's the annual Christmas Luncheon at the office, which I am not looking forward to. At least we get to go home early afterwards, but that means we have to sit around for two hours at a restaurant I don't really like, making awkward conversation with the office manager (who is making a special appearance — she's been out the last few weeks recovering from back surgery) and one of the nuns.
At least we're getting out of the office and having an actual meal. When I first started here, they did the party in the conference room, and I think we had fruit, cheese, crackers, cookies, and wine. I was young and innocent then, and didn't realize that I had to get in there early to get a good spot. I ended up being one of the last ones in, and got stuck sitting between two of the nuns and directly in front of a portable boombox that was playing Christmas music. Until "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" came on, and one of the nuns immediately jumped up to switch songs. She looked at me and said, "Santa Claus is coming to town. What do you think about that?" I think I just stared at her with a deer-in-the-headlights look, because I had no idea how to reply. I mean, I'm not Catholic, and I was new at the whole dealing-with-nuns thing, and she's kind of hard to follow anyhow, so I was totally stumped.
When it originally happened, I wrote an e-mail to some friends about how bizarre the whole thing felt. One of them (who also knew the people in question) thought it was one of the funniest things she had ever read, and would tell me over the years that she kept a printout and would reread it when she needed a good laugh. I was talking to her last night, and she wanted to know if I still had a copy, because she doesn't know what happened to hers. Sadly, I don't think I do.
At least we're getting out of the office and having an actual meal. When I first started here, they did the party in the conference room, and I think we had fruit, cheese, crackers, cookies, and wine. I was young and innocent then, and didn't realize that I had to get in there early to get a good spot. I ended up being one of the last ones in, and got stuck sitting between two of the nuns and directly in front of a portable boombox that was playing Christmas music. Until "Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town" came on, and one of the nuns immediately jumped up to switch songs. She looked at me and said, "Santa Claus is coming to town. What do you think about that?" I think I just stared at her with a deer-in-the-headlights look, because I had no idea how to reply. I mean, I'm not Catholic, and I was new at the whole dealing-with-nuns thing, and she's kind of hard to follow anyhow, so I was totally stumped.
When it originally happened, I wrote an e-mail to some friends about how bizarre the whole thing felt. One of them (who also knew the people in question) thought it was one of the funniest things she had ever read, and would tell me over the years that she kept a printout and would reread it when she needed a good laugh. I was talking to her last night, and she wanted to know if I still had a copy, because she doesn't know what happened to hers. Sadly, I don't think I do.
Book Report: Volume 5
I am in love with Joe Konrath. He writes the Jack Daniels series, which I discovered last month but never got around to writing about until now. I promptly read Whisky Sour, Bloody Mary, and Rusty Nail over one weekend, and tracked down the latest, Dirty Martini, at the library the next Monday. On top of writing funny and entertaining mystery/thrillers, his Web site is also a hoot.
I kind of want him to write a series based on Phinn Troutt, though. According to this blog entry, he does have a manuscript featuring the character, but it is still unpublished. So, I had to make do with some short stories in These Guns for Hire and Thriller, which I read over Thanksgiving weekend, I think.
I kind of want him to write a series based on Phinn Troutt, though. According to this blog entry, he does have a manuscript featuring the character, but it is still unpublished. So, I had to make do with some short stories in These Guns for Hire and Thriller, which I read over Thanksgiving weekend, I think.
Oh! In the course of poking around on Amazon to link to his titles, I discovered that he also sells two short story collections as electronic editions for less than $1 each. Cool! I just downloaded those. . . .
Meanwhile, I'm trying to decide what books to take with me to Akron over vacation. I just finished Here, There Be Dragons.
Meanwhile, I'm trying to decide what books to take with me to Akron over vacation. I just finished Here, There Be Dragons.
I liked it a lot, because I thought it was fun to figure out which characters and situations are references to other books I've read (or haven't read, but have heard enough about, what with recent major motion pictures being based on them and all). I wasn't spoiled on the identity of the characters, so the last few pages were a bit of a surprise to me. I can't believe that the reviewer for School Library Journal declared it fit "only for fans of fan fiction." Yeesh! I'm only sorry that the sequel doesn't come out until next month.
#4, I Think I Love You
On any list of reasons why the Browns beat the Bills one final name needs mentioning: Phil Dawson. Without Dawson the Browns don’t win. It was great to see the only remaining member of the 1999 Browns team have yet another day in the sun (or overcast sky). Though it came on a smaller stage, Dawson’s 49-yard field goal in the second quarter was every bit as impressive as Adam Vinatieri’s field goal against the Raiders a few years ago. Amazing. And the reaction of both the crowd and the team — Anderson rushing the field with an oven mitt on his hand was priceless — served as a powerful emotional punch to the extraordinary physical display Dawson put on with his field goal kicking. In a game where small things made big differences it was fitting that Dawson’s leg prove to be the ultimate difference in the game.
Also awesome, in no particular order: Pittsburgh lost, Baltimore lost (to the Dolphins, no less!), and my grandma called to congratulate me on my team's win. (She roots for the Bengals, and they already lost on Thursday.)
Oh, it was a nice day yesterday after all.
Obligatory Holiday-Related Post: Four in a Series
Have I mentioned that I love A Christmas Story? I also like this article by James Poniewozik in Time: Generation X-mas.
In related news . . . SwagDog sells some funny t-shirts.
If I get a Leg Lamp from the gift shop at A Christmas Story House, do I have to put it in a window? My geography professor fall quarter freshman year at OU* is one of the passersby in the scene where the dad goes out in the street to admire the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window. He's got a tweed cap on, I think, and he just kind of keeps walking back and forth behind the hedges, craning his neck to see around the other people while the dad talks about it being a major award.
Oh, I see that they also make it as a night light and as a string of lights for the tree. Oh! Oh! And an inflatable one for use as a lawn ornament. . . . Nice!
I still want to go to the house and take a tour, followed by dinner at the Chinese restaurant. And maybe even see A Christmas Story on stage at the Cleveland Play House. In the meantime, I can watch the movie parody in Bun-O-Vision.
*The same guy who went to high school with Jeffrey Dahmer, was in Czechoslovakia in 1989 when the communist government fell, and started a fight with the Miami football team at Homecoming in 1992. He's lived quite the life.
Obligatory Holiday-Related Post: Three in a Series
I drive past this house in Westlake at least once a day — usually on my way home from work.
Looks pretty normal, right? Just another house in a neighborhood where a lot of people go, uhm, a bit overboard in the size and scope of their holiday decorations.
Well, when I went past it last night and saw this shining merrily in the rainy darkness
Looks pretty normal, right? Just another house in a neighborhood where a lot of people go, uhm, a bit overboard in the size and scope of their holiday decorations.
Well, when I went past it last night and saw this shining merrily in the rainy darkness
I about crashed into the car in front of me, I was laughing so hard.
This Week in Netflix: Volume 17
I can't help it, I love The Wendell Baker Story. The majority of the reviews I have read have gone on about how terrible it is, but I am apparently blinded by my love for Luke Wilson because I watched it three times before I returned it and am somewhat tempted to get it on DVD just so I can see certain parts again.
What else have I been Netflixing lately?
The entire second seasons of Bones and How I Met Your Mother . . . all episodes of which I saw when they originally aired. What I didn't see all of the first time around was Life as We Know It, but that's because the network shuffled the schedule and then cancelled it.
I also rented The Hoax and Disturbia. I think I started doing something else halfway through Disturbia, but it went pretty much how I expected it to go. The Hoax was interesting because, although it was based on actual events, I didn't know a lot about the guy who invented a Howard Hughes autobiography just as revenge on the people who cancelled his book deal. I also enjoyed the period details: the clothes, the hair, the cars. Oh, and the interview with Mike Wallace about how he got totally taken in by the guy's story when he interviewed him on 60 Minutes. Heh.
Return of Yahoo Mail Theatre
Because all the goofing off I did last week is starting to catch up to me a little bit, here's another episode of Yahoo Mail Theatre.
(Note snooty "-re" spelling.)
(Note snooty "-re" spelling.)
From: Amy
To: Christine, Cathy
Subject: Shaloha*
Is this Mr. Yuck for the 21st century?
Ah, the good old days . . .
Christine's rendition . . .
*Thanks, Random Subject Line Generator!
-----Response ----
From: Christine
To: Amy, Cathy
Subject: RE: Shaloha*
Oh please … Mr. Yuk is universal and timeless. That sad little envelope doesn’t even come close, and my rendition is way too violent … It looks like a rotten green jack o’lantern.
Look at the despairing resignation of Mr. Yuk. Are his eyes squeezed shut in disgust, or crossed and glassily open? Is he blanching, or already dead? Does Mr. Yuk’s warning come in the midst of reactionary vomiting, or from beyond the grave? Poison isn’t fun, it isn’t flashy, Mr. Yuk says. It’s just … lethal …
The above yammering gives you an indication of the kind of crazy morning I’ve had.
--C
----- Next Message ----
From: Christine
To: Amy, Cathy
Subject: RE: Shaloha*
OMG OMG OMG … they have Mr. Yuk bracelets! The perfect companion to Steve Colbert’s “Wrist Strong” campaign!
https://www.chp.edu/chpstore/wristband_order_form.php
--C
----- Next Message ----
From: Cathy
To: Amy, Christine
Subject: Re: Shaloha*
Now, in the depths of the gutter we call my mind, Christine's Mr. Yuk looks like he's choking on some chicken, if you catch my "trying to stay clean" drift.
----- Next Message ----
From: Christine
To: Amy, Cathy
Subject: RE: Shaloha*
Yeah, I’m really not sure what was going on in my head when I drew that tongue. Or maybe I do, and I won’t say for fear of crashing the email filters.
--C
----- Next Message ----
From: Cathy
To: Amy, Christine
Subject: Re: Shaloha*
Don't you love code talking for fear of the wrath of the filter?
Your Mr. Yuk's eyes are the Starfleet insignia ...
Aaaaand . . . . Scene.
Friday Timewaster: Library Arcade
For all my librarian pals and other geeky folk . . . Video games about being a librarian. Yeah! There's some fantasy role-playing scenarios for you: Fielding patron queries and reshelving materials! Alsome!!1!!
Obligatory Holiday-Related Post: Two in a Series
Courtesy of Brave Astronaut . . .
Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Play along if you'd like.
Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends. Play along if you'd like.
- Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Gift bags, because I'm lazy. And also I suck at estimating the correct amount of wrapping paper, getting the corners to be flat, and doing fancy bows. - Real tree or artificial?
We had real trees when I was growing up, but I don't mind artificial. - When do you put up the tree?
At my apartment I don't really do a tree at all. At my parents' house, it depends on my mom's schedule, but I think she usually gets to it in the first week or so of December. - When do you take the tree down?
If I put one up, I wouldn't take it down. Once something gets set up at my place, it stays that way. My mom doesn't take the tree down until after Serbian Christmas, which is January 7. - Do you like egg nog?
Not in mass quantities, but it's okay. - Favorite gift received as a child?
Maybe the giant stuffed Snoopy from my Uncle Dave when I was about six? I still have it. I took it to college with me. My friend Aaron insisted on trying to get Snoopy to drink beer one night. Sigh. Good times. - Do you have a nativity scene?
Personally, no. My mom has a nice one, though. - Hardest person to buy for?
Probably my dad, if only because if he wants something, he'll just buy it. - Easiest person to buy for?
Me, ha ha. - Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail, although I haven't made my cards for this year yet. I need to get cracking on that, but it means clearing off enough work space first — no easy task! - Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Nothing really stands out at the moment. - Favorite Christmas movie?
Hands down, A Christmas Story. I remember going to see it in the theater with my parents and sister. I own it on DVD (special 2-disc edition, natch!) and tune in to the annual twenty-four hour marathon on cable. - When do you start shopping for Christmas?
I kind of do it year-round — keep an idea file or pick things up when I see them. I'm trying to emulate my mom: she finishes all her Christmas shopping in July. - Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Yes. - Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Marzipan. Oh, and Pez, which my mom puts in my stocking every year. - Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Bubble lights! - Favorite Christmas song?
"Please Come Home for Christmas" by Charles Brown. Although "Santa Claus Is Back in Town" by Elvis Presley and "Merry Christmas Baby" by Chuck Berry are also up there. I made a whole Christmas mix CD a few years ago . . . I need to dig that out. - Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay at home. - Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Yes. - Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star. - Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
In the morning. - Most annoying thing about this time of year?
The Little Drummer Boy. - Favorite ornament theme or color?
Snowflakes — blue and silver. - Favorite thing for Christmas dinner?
Honeybaked ham — We always had one at the Christmas Eve party my parents used to host when I was growing up. - What do you want for Christmas this year?
A larger apartment without having to pack up all my junk and move it, a bunch of new pairs of Chucks, a video iPod with the largest hard drive possible . . . I already got one thing I wanted: A green hooded zip-up fleece sweatshirt. Thanks, Mom!
The last two questions are supposed to be who's most/least likely to respond to this, but I omitted them because I like having 25 questions. For some reason, the numbers come out as bullets, but trust me: There are 25.
It's Got What Plants Crave!
I saw Drink Brawndo: It's Got Electrolytes! while cruising teh interwebs the other week, when Idiocracy was still in my Netflix queue. I just watched the movie this morning, and . . . O.M.G. I was cracking up. And also saddened, because that kind of future doesn't seem too far off. And also reminded of the dystopia of Back to the Future, Part 2.
I can't believe they didn't like this movie enough to release it for real. I saw it mentioned in an Entertainment Weekly movie preview issue about two years ago, and then was surprised when it popped up in a list of recent releases on Netflix.
Anyhow, since Brawndo's got what plants crave, now so can you — they're actually selling the stuff. Check out the ad here. Buy some here.
Meanwhile, I plan on continuing to binge on Luke Wilson by watching The Wendell Baker Story — another movie of his that never got a real release.
Holiday Hack Newsroom Bingo
Oh, yay! It's time for more obligatory holiday-related content.* In a snarky way, however, which I find is the best kind.
If I had one of these, I might actually watch the local news. Emphasis on might. The only useful segment is Dick Goddard's weather report.
If I had one of these, I might actually watch the local news. Emphasis on might. The only useful segment is Dick Goddard's weather report.
*I did catch the last five minutes of the Charlie Brown Christmas special last night. I think I came across it right when he hangs the red ornament on his tree and it droops over. I was going to stay tuned to the next Charlie Brown special, but the first few minutes reminded me of the plot of The Cutting Edge, with Lucy as Moira Kelly's character and Schroeder as D. B. Sweeney's character (What? I'm the only one who noticed that? Fine.), except I couldn't remember the name of the movie. I could only think "Toe pick!" and that irritated me (but not enough to look it up on IMDB until just now) and I also realized that Monday Night Football was coming on, so I changed the channel. The end.
Triple Feature
Mary Lu and I pretty much camped out at the Cedar Lee on Saturday: The Darjeeling Limited, Lars and the Real Girl, and The Big Lebowski. All very enjoyable, in their own ways.
Cathy and Christine joined us for dinner at the Lemongrass Cafe and the cult classic. I could have sworn that I'd seen The Big Lebowski before, but I only recognized bits and pieces. So, for me it was almost like watching a new movie. Maybe later I'll explore some dude-related links and things I found on this blog.
Cathy and Christine joined us for dinner at the Lemongrass Cafe and the cult classic. I could have sworn that I'd seen The Big Lebowski before, but I only recognized bits and pieces. So, for me it was almost like watching a new movie. Maybe later I'll explore some dude-related links and things I found on this blog.
The rest of the weekend, I OD'd on football. I was so busy watching my Season 1 DVD of Friday Night Lights that I didn't get around to watching the new episode of FNL that I taped on Friday night. Oh, and I was at the brewpub on Sunday afternoon for part of the Browns-Cardinals debacle. I'll leave you with the commentary from Deadspin:
One of the sickest trick plays I've ever seen came in the Browns-Cardinals game on a 2-point conversion, where kick returner Josh Cribbs lined up at tailback, Derek Anderson faked the "walk over to the deaf-ass wideout to explain the play," and the snap went to Cribbs, who faked the draw and tapped into his Kent State quarterbacking skills, lobbing the ball to Kellen Winslow. There were about three spices of fake in there. Simply stunning, and it came off a questionable long touchdown by Braylon Edwards in which he appeared to have been down by contact.
Fat lot of good it did, though, because Arizona was able to stave off the equine nads of Derek Anderson's last-second, 4th-down heave into the end zone, which was caught by Kellen Winslow but was pushed out of bounds and ruled out. (I watched this game out of free will over the Bears-Giants, if you hadn't noticed.) Cardinals 27, Browns 21
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