Let's Do the Time Warp Again

I've been looking through the flotsam and jetsam of the Drafts folder for this blog. A bunch of stuff that I started in 2009 or so can go right into the circular file, but this one still holds up in 2016 . . . sorta.

* * * * *

So, a while back I wrote about  the back issues of Life that are available on Google Books. I've paged through a few virtual issues, but yesterday I took some time to read an issue of Time from October 27, 1997, that had been filed away at the time by one of the editors at work and unearthed this spring by me when we moved our office.

It's the little things that make me laugh:

• angry letters to the editor about Promise Keepers, Martha Stewart hawking items at K-Mart, and the amount of time it was taking to find Jon-Benet Ramsey's killer
  
  
• an ad for Sony that reads, in part, "She remembers the 'olden' days. Before color television. Her 20-year-old remembers the 'olden' days. Before the VCR. Her 10-year-old remembers the 'olden' days. Before the CD-ROM. Her four-year-old will remember the 'olden' days, too. But before what?"
  
  
• an article about Christie Whitman and the New Jersey governor's race; under a screenshot with an image of Jim McGreevey, the caption reads, "Whitman's commercials: Playing on the fact that McGreevey's record is little known to most voters."
  
  
• fallout for Ellen and Ellen in light of last spring's revelation that the show's star is gay

Tuesday Timewaster: Know Your States

I spent most of this morning posting info about an OU alumni event I'm organizing to the walls of a bunch of people I know on Facebook. I should be finishing a manuscript assessment, or finishing proofing an online edition of a social studies unit, or __  or __ or ___  <--- fill in the blanks with any of the sundry tasks on my never-ending to-do list, but instead I'm fiddling around on Know Your States.

Hmm. Maybe geeking around and playing games is why nothing ever gets crossed off of my to-do list? Perhaps I should block certain sites from my work computer? I could  usher in a new era of productivity and inspire everyone else in the office to meet our project deadlines!

Naaaaaahh!

Blogtober?

So, Brave Astronaut has declared this to be Blogtober, and he has announced his goal to blog every day this month. I took issue with this, but mostly only because I feel guilty about not posting over here very much.

As I may or may not have said before, and as you may or may not care, most of the things I used to post about here I now post to Facebook, or I have second thoughts about posting anywhere at all, because it's too much work to craft appropriately snarky/cool commentary that eloquently captures my frame of mind and personal connection to whatever it was I saw online/did in real life and felt a deep and overwhelming connection to, one so massive I had to share it with the world, or at least the roughly 52 people who see my FB posts and/or cruise by here looking for photos of Ryan Gosling naked.

For example, Present & Correct, a UK stationery and sundry shop that I want pretty much one of everything from:

This Dilbert cartoon about editing that is funny because it's true:

This Harry Potter-inspired Butterbeer lip balm that I totally want:

Bert and Ernie in desktop wallpaper form:

This hilarious and great mystery novel I just finished reading, Don't Ever Get Old :

Although, come to think of it, I did post the Butterbeer thing to Facebook. Whatever: The point still stands.

In other news, it's almost time for pub quiz. My team came in first at Monday night trivia, thanks to my intimate knowledge of the finer points of Hoosiers despite never having actually seen the movie. If we win tonight, the world will probably end — we're pretty sure that's what the Mayans predicted.

Although the upside to the world ending is that I won't have to waste time/energy worrying over blogging or not blogging, or eating right and exercising, or cleaning my apartment and doing my laundry. So ... Come on, apocalypse!

Running Out of Post-Its

As part of my birthday presents, my mom saved this Pearls Before Swine strip and attached the following note to the lovely 3M products show below.

I'm not usually a fan of Pearls, but in this case I like how they think.

Friday Timewaster: Frisky Commercials

Bow-chicka bow-wow...

 

Wocka-chicka wocka-chicka . . .

I saw the Ragu one a lot when I was watching some stuff on Hulu this week, which was good because multiple viewings really helped me analyze it. Initially, I couldn't unravel the logic behind the timing of events in the video. I mean, if, as the lyrics say, it's 8 p.m. and the parents are in bed, why is the next scene of everyone having dinner? Was that a flashback? A flashforward to the next day? The kid at the dinner table looks much happier there than when he was walking toward the steps with his shattered innocence. (It's a great face, though — very expressive.)

Beyond that, I was interested in the underlying message about making yourself feel better emotionally by eating carbs, plus the use of imagery associated with another potentially dangerous form of self-medicating: drinking. To wit: having the jar of sauce slide in from offscreen and stop like a drink being slid down the bar in an old Western movie and using "a long day" in the tag line to bring to mind the idea of having a tasty adult beverage (or three) after a rough day at the office.

The Sealy ad seems to get late-night airplay; I've seen it a few times while watching the last few weeks' worth of episodes of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson — sometimes I lose track of the remote, or I forget that I'm watching a tape and not Hulu: I can fast-forward the tape, but not Hulu.

Anyhow, that was another ad where repeated viewing helped me follow the plot. Side note: Am I just becoming an idiot in my old age (My Oma used to get confused between what was the commercial and what was the show.), or was it the aspect of using sex to sell spaghetti sauce (there's a fetish) that startled me?

The mattress one just made me laugh, but I didn't see all of the first scene the first time, so I was confused because I thought the old guy was living downstairs from the first couple. Also, I'm trying to decide if the guys with the glasses against the wall are a gay couple. It doesn't matter, but I like to think they are.

In conclusion, this is way too much half-assed analysis for this time of night, but I'm kind of wide awake and I'm taking Friday off of work anyhow, so there you have it.

Friday Timewaster: Frisky Commercials

Bow-chicka bow-wow...

 

Wocka-chicka wocka-chicka . . .

I saw the Ragu one a lot when I was watching some stuff on Hulu this week, which was good because multiple viewings really helped me analyze it. Initially, I couldn't unravel the logic behind the timing of events in the video. I mean, if, as the lyrics say, it's 8 p.m. and the parents are in bed, why is the next scene of everyone having dinner? Was that a flashback? A flashforward to the next day? The kid at the dinner table looks much happier there than when he was walking toward the steps with his shattered innocence. (It's a great face, though — very expressive.)

Beyond that, I was interested in the underlying message about making yourself feel better emotionally by eating carbs, plus the use of imagery associated with another potentially dangerous form of self-medicating: drinking. To wit: having the jar of sauce slide in from offscreen and stop like a drink being slid down the bar in an old Western movie and using "a long day" in the tag line to bring to mind the idea of having a tasty adult beverage (or three) after a rough day at the office.

The Sealy ad seems to get late-night airplay; I've seen it a few times while watching the last few weeks' worth of episodes of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson — sometimes I lose track of the remote, or I forget that I'm watching a tape and not Hulu: I can fast-forward the tape, but not Hulu.

Anyhow, that was another ad where repeated viewing helped me follow the plot. Side note: Am I just becoming an idiot in my old age (My Oma used to get confused between what was the commercial and what was the show.), or was it the aspect of using sex to sell spaghetti sauce (there's a fetish) that startled me?

The mattress one just made me laugh, but I didn't see all of the first scene the first time, so I was confused because I thought the old guy was living downstairs from the first couple. Also, I'm trying to decide if the guys with the glasses against the wall are a gay couple. It doesn't matter, but I like to think they are.

In conclusion, this is way too much half-assed analysis for this time of night, but I'm kind of wide awake and I'm taking Friday off of work anyhow, so there you have it.

Google Books, I Heart You

So, I'm trying to track down a bunch of sources for this project at work, and it mostly entails clicking on a link to see on what Web site someone else found a historical document, looking at that site's source information to figure out what the true source of said document is, and finding a copy of said source online or at the library.

This morning I was looking for a copy of Julia Ward Howe's memoirs in Google Books. That brought me to this page:

First I started laughing because I'd never really seen a picture of Howe before and she struck me as resembling a basset hound. (The other editor concurred: "She does have a bit of the Deputy Dawg look to her.")

Then I said, "Oh my!" when I spotted this book cover in the Related Books section:

How can you see that and not click on it?! And then not click on the "read more" option?!


After I cracked up about what actually seems like a tough situation ("Howe wrote The Hermaphrodite when her own marriage was challenged by her husband’s affection for another man"),  I opened the downloaded PDF of the memoirs and was delighted to discover the fingers of whoever digitized that volume:

Finger condoms FTW!

Don't Call Me, I Won't Call You

Pickles 3/6/12

Seriously! I cancelled my land line a while back and haven't missed it one bit. I'm still rockin' a lame-o flip phone because I hardly ever call anybody, and vice versa. In fact,  I prefer e-mails and, to a lesser extent, texts, despite Jay Leno's oft-expressed amazement that anybody would rather send messages back and forth instead of speaking to someone directly.

In other news: We went from heroes to zeroes at trivia night on Monday. Somehow we were in first place before the final question, but we bet it all on an admittedly shaky guess in response to the question "On Friends, what was the name of Joey's sister that Chandler fooled around with?" We were in the ball park (ok, in the parking lot adjacent to the ball park) because we thought that there were two parts to it and that it was some ultra-Catholic type of name, but went with Donna Josephine instead of Mary Angela. Doh!

Christmas (Story) Is Coming

Saw this in the TV Addict's December calendar and cracked up. I have it on DVD (hell, I have it memorized...) so it's not really necessary to tune in on Christmas, but I like it. And it annoys my dad, so ... double bonus!

In other news that makes me happy: I only have to come up with 11 more outfits to wear to work, and then it's pajama pants and sweatshirts until New Year's!

Is it lame that I'm so excited about staying at home for vacation? (Don't answer; I think I know.)

I don't have to stay home every day, though. Maybe I'll hit some area hot spots, like ... A Christmas Story House  and Tuba Christmas. I'll probably also go visit my parents and  my sister for a bit. Maybe my sister and I will take another holiday road trip. When she lived in upstate New York, we used to go down to the city for a few days. When she was in Georgia, we did some touristy stuff in Atlanta. Now that she's in southeast Ohio, I'm not sure what the destination would be . . .

OMG.

I was just on the Christmas Story House's online gift shop, and they have Christmas Story "comfy throws" (aka Snuggies).

Ha!! I think I know what my dad just bought me for Christmas!

Calgon, Take Me Away!

When I was in grade school*  my babysitter** used to watch Guiding Light*** in the afternoons, and I remember with fondness the commercials for Calgon.****

I could really go for some right about now.***** Traffic was shitty on the way to work,****** I've had a headache all day, I didn't realize until after I pressed "send" on an e-mail to 30+ people that I forgot to include the mufflefratting******* attachment, and the copier won't stop impersonating Bob Marley******** long enough to print my 300-page document.


And it's only Thursday. I get to do this all over again tomorrow. Awesome.  : \










*Somebody (it may have been my friend from Boston, but who knows) complained that the phrase "grade school" was stupid/inaccurate, because they're all grades. Is it an Ohio thing to say "grade school" when you mean "elementary school"?


**Or maybe it was her daughters, who were probably in high school when I was in second grade — things are fuzzy at the moment, for reasons that will become clear.


***And Young and the Restless, but I think that was almost over by the time I got home.Nice theme song, though. Which reminds me of the spoofy dream sequence in Mr. Mom. I love that movie.


****Which apparently still exists, despite my never having bought any in my life: www.takemeaway.com.  I was always more of a Mr. Bubble girl.


*****Or a Yuengling, whichever.


******My mistake for trying to get to work on time. The commute is much easier when I don't even leave my house until after 8 ... which is kinda sorta technically when I'm supposed to be at my desk already, except that nobody cares anymore when anybody shows up. It's anarchy!


*******Insert all of the dad's fake swearing from A Christmas Story here.



********

Do the World a Favor, Indeed

Kill Comic Sans: Do the World a Favor

Hahahahaha! Love it!

(What are you waiting for? Start shooting!)

I Totally Want This: To the Googles!

To the Googles! at HilariAwesome

It's one of my favorite parts from this poster . . .

So You Found Something Cool on the Internet

 . . .   which I found because a friend of mine posted a copy of this poster on Facebook  . . .

So You're Mad about Something on the Internet

Meanwhile, back at the cube:

I need to go to the Googles to look up some sources that are quoted in this manuscript I'm assessing. Real work ... boo!

TPS Report

My desktop wallpaper is this:

Which, if you want your own copy, you can find here:

Office Space Bliss by Burt

I also set my screensaver to scroll what looks like the following error message:

Sigh. Can you believe that movie came out in 1999? I remember dragging my sister to see it with me in the theater. She didn't think it was as funny as I did, but then again, she hadn't really worked in an office yet.

Speaking of offices: I'm going to be out of mine almost as much as I'm going to be in it this month, which should be awesome. PTO FTW!
 

Malley's Puts that Bleep! on Everything

First Twinkies and Fritos, now Peeps . . .   

Five of America’s favorite sugary marshmallow Peeps® are drenched in creamy milk chocolate. They are sure to be an Easter treat everyone will love.

Has Malley's chocolate become the Frank's Red Hot of the confectionery world?





  
 


Needless to say, I bought some. I haven't eaten any yet, but I'll probably have one this weekend. Further bulletins as events warrant.

Stories for OUr Day

Today's OUr Day, celebrating OU alumni.

What do OU alumni do when they celebrate? Tell stories about their crazy days in Athens.

I started my celebration a little early. I was at a meeting last night where I had the opportunity to share the always hi-larious image below and, with the person who did the actual "ironing," retell the whole incident to a small but appreciative crowd.

In the spirit of such good times, I'm linking to past posts with some of my favorite OU stories. Enjoy . . .

Don't Drink and Iron

One of the Reasons Amy's Going to Hell

This Room Is Not a Bathroom

Recipe for Disaster

Wednesday Timewaster: Celebrity Jeopardy

Yeah, so . . .

I should be doing some laundry and getting some stuff together for an alumni event I'm hosting tomorrow and putting in some time on my freelance project, but I'm too busy listening to the Indians and Angels in extra innings and Joe Tait calling his last game for the Cavs plus watching all of the Celebrity Jeopardy sketches compiled on Funny or Die.

My favorite? Penis Mightier. Classic.

Crummy video quality, but I guess you can't have everything.

SNL Celebrity Jeopardy 3-20-99 - watch more funny videos

Today in Earworms: Friday

Gah. I watched Stephen Colbert perform "Friday" on Jimmy Fallon, uh, several times over the weekend, and now I can't get that damn song out of my head.

Friday, Friday . . .  Partyin', yeah! . . . Partyin', yeah! Cue the Taylor Hicks harmonica solo!

Click the link to get infected.

Stephen Colbert Sings ‘Friday’ with The Roots!

Click it! You know you want to. It's quite the spectacle. Stephen in a tux . . . pyrotechnics . . . the Knicks City Dancers (Whaa?!) Just watch it already.

It's Funnier If You're Tired

 
In related news: 

I heard the best DST suggestion ever this morning on my way to work, when the AM DJ at V 107.3 suggested that if we have to skip an hour ahead, why not do it on Friday afternoon so everyone can go home early?

I could have used the extra hour this weekend, since I spent more time than I intended at St. Pat's in the Flats on Saturday and then went to my parents' house on Sunday to pick up some crafting supplies that I'll need on Tuesday night. My mom always tries to talk me into skipping work and staying overnight, and I kind of wish I'd taken her up on it. Sleeping in and lounging around the house sounds like perfection right now . . .  Then again, when does it not?!

I Totally Want This: Peepshi

I am not a sushi fan. I am, however, a Peeps fan.

A Peeps fan who is too lazy to actually make the smorgasbord of sugary delights pictured above, but who appreciates the concept nonetheless.

If you're more motivated than I am, check out Serious Eats for complete instructions and ideas for incorporating Peeps into other common dishes. That's right:  "Peeps . . . It's what's for dinner." Or "Peeps. . . Not just for Easter anymore."

U Can't Not Hum This

My new desktop wallpaper, while hi-larious, has gifted me with an earworm.

In fact, I want to listen to my entire playlist of late '80s/early '90s hip-hop/rap/R&B/new jack swing, but I think I took it off my iPod yesterday when I synced it. Guh.

I could go to the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon site to watch Bell Biv Devoe perform the only two songs most people know, but it wouldn't be the same.

ETA:

I could also watch this, but it still wouldn't be the same.