Calgon, Take Me Away!

When I was in grade school*  my babysitter** used to watch Guiding Light*** in the afternoons, and I remember with fondness the commercials for Calgon.****

I could really go for some right about now.***** Traffic was shitty on the way to work,****** I've had a headache all day, I didn't realize until after I pressed "send" on an e-mail to 30+ people that I forgot to include the mufflefratting******* attachment, and the copier won't stop impersonating Bob Marley******** long enough to print my 300-page document.

And it's only Thursday. I get to do this all over again tomorrow. Awesome.  : \

*Somebody (it may have been my friend from Boston, but who knows) complained that the phrase "grade school" was stupid/inaccurate, because they're all grades. Is it an Ohio thing to say "grade school" when you mean "elementary school"?

**Or maybe it was her daughters, who were probably in high school when I was in second grade — things are fuzzy at the moment, for reasons that will become clear.

***And Young and the Restless, but I think that was almost over by the time I got home.Nice theme song, though. Which reminds me of the spoofy dream sequence in Mr. Mom. I love that movie.

****Which apparently still exists, despite my never having bought any in my life:  I was always more of a Mr. Bubble girl.

*****Or a Yuengling, whichever.

******My mistake for trying to get to work on time. The commute is much easier when I don't even leave my house until after 8 ... which is kinda sorta technically when I'm supposed to be at my desk already, except that nobody cares anymore when anybody shows up. It's anarchy!

*******Insert all of the dad's fake swearing from A Christmas Story here.


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