Welcoming All You Friends of the Feather

Tomorrow is the first game of spring training, not the first game of the actual season, but I think the words of the immortal Harry Doyle are still appropriate: 

Hello again, everybody. Harry Doyle here, welcoming all you friends of the feather to another season of Indians baseball. A lot of new faces in Chief Wahoo's tribe this year . . .

Meanwhile, I'm loving these Spring Training graphics:

 

Anyhow: First pitch is at 3:05 in my time zone, which means I need to decide whether the hot dogs & popcorn I'm fixing will be a late lunch or an early dinner. Maybe I'll open with an appetizer of buttered popcorn, followed by hot dogs and potato chips (and, okay, a veggie plate) during the seventh-inning stretch. For dessert... hmmm.  Do I have any ice cream in the freezer?

I probably should have thought through the menu better (and earlier in the week!) instead of making a spur-of-the-moment decision this afternoon when it was kind of too late to go to the store. Apparently I have hot dogs but no buns, and mustard but no ketchup. But I guess since it's only spring training, I have until April 1 to work out all the kinks. 

I Totally Want This: Rally Drum Red Ale

Rally Drum Red Ale is created in honor of Cleveland's own John Adams! Who's John Adams? For anyone that's been to a Tribe home game in the last 38 years, you've no doubt heard him beating his iconic drum in the bleachers! Baseball is a sport of nostalgia and grand tradition. Nobody knows this better than John Adams. From the minute the batter steps into the box, to the set and the pitch, his steady hands add drama and excitement to every inning of every game. The Rally Drum Red Ale pays homage to the man behind the mallets and the team and game that he loves.

A local grocery store chain is tapping kegs of this tomorrow afternoon in anticipation of Opening Day on Thursday. 


Hmmm. I may have to show up at work on time (or, gasp!, early) so I can go check this out at 4 p.m.

Wednesday Timewaster: Celebrity Jeopardy

Yeah, so . . .

I should be doing some laundry and getting some stuff together for an alumni event I'm hosting tomorrow and putting in some time on my freelance project, but I'm too busy listening to the Indians and Angels in extra innings and Joe Tait calling his last game for the Cavs plus watching all of the Celebrity Jeopardy sketches compiled on Funny or Die.

My favorite? Penis Mightier. Classic.

Crummy video quality, but I guess you can't have everything.

SNL Celebrity Jeopardy 3-20-99 - watch more funny videos

Play Ball?

Re-purposing a portion of a series of Facebook messages to an old pal from college. . . .

Backstory: He's going to the Reds game tonight, and had alluded to the fact that he was wearing Indians gear in his status update.

Me: Wait, what? Are you in Cleveland?

[Pause while I check the online schedule.]

Me again: Doh! Nevermind . . .

I forgot that Cleveland is playing the RED SOX tonight, not the REDS. So, when I skimmed the Reds/Indians part of the status update, I thought you were in NE Ohio.

Poor reading comprehension is apparently my punishment for leaving my iPod at home and trying to check FB on my work computer on the sly ... Sigh.

ANYHOW: Enjoy the game. The end. : )




He replied that he was in Cleveland earlier in the week but is in Cincy now. He admitted that he finds AL games more interesting to watch — Can I just pause this recap to say that it kind of boggles my mind that anybody finds baseball interesting to watch, much less can draw distinctions between the two leagues and their varying approaches? I'm only a fan because when I first started my day job, baseball was a relatively safe topic of conversation with one of my bosses. I only pay attention to the Indians; when they're out of it, I'm done.





At any rate, since I still had twenty minutes to kill at the office . . .

My reply: However, you might be better off in Cincy -- assuming that, because it's south of here, it's warmer.

It's only about 43 right now & it will probably get chillier before first pitch. There was a piece in Scene about record-breaking low attendance at Tribe games over the weekend.

Everybody seems to blame it on the team's poor performance, but nobody mentioned the fact that you have to be frackin' crazy to sit outside at night in April for baseball. (Hell, it snowed the day before Opening Day. Like, a LOT of snow . . . and heavy, wet snow, too, not some light dusting.)

I'm going to a game in June, with the assumption that the weather will actually be nice by then. Although by that point we will probably be mathematically eliminated from playoff contention.

The Bad Is Outweighing the Good Right Now

Happy nerd moment #1: Using some code I found on teh magic interwebs, I made a macro to create a monthly calendar in Excel. 

Happy nerd moment #2: Discovering the external hard drive I've been searching for off and on for the last month or so in the bottom of one of my tote bags. Next step: Double-checking that everything on my old laptop has been backed up to the EHD so I can move some things over to the new laptop.

Scary Cleveland fan moment that completely outweighs the happy nerd moments: Elbowgate 2010. 

When I woke up this morning, the sports report on the radio was filled with clips from LeBron's postgame interview in which he detailed the issue with the elbow. I thought it sounded like a pinched nerve or something, and started freaking out big time. 

Then at BW-3s this evening — enjoying the free wings I won at the MAC tournament while crabbing about things at the office — I saw the video footage of the same interview and was mesmerized by that cream-colored cardigan with the shawl collar. (What was with his initials on the left side? It reminded me of a letter sweater from the '50s, except with his monogram instead of the school's.) 

I was so captivated by the fashion show that I almost forgot to be nervous about the Cleveland karma — much like Murphy's law, it essentially states that anything that can go wrong with Cleveland sports teams will  . . .  I mean, come on: The Indians lose because of a frakkin' bunt single with two outs in the ninth?! — until I watched SportsCenter's Top Ten on premature celebration, which actually featured the Browns game where they blew the win because of the penalty after that one guy took his helmet off early and thus set me off all over again. I mean, Cavs fans — your humble correspondent included —  have been thinking "This is the year! Ring for the king!" all season, and now . . . to be laid low by the same thing that has brought us this far — to wit, his amazingly accurate shooting arm — is beyond brutal.

Making a somewhat unsuccessful attempt to cheer me — and the rest of the "Only in Cleveland!" crowd —  up? 

The LeBron James Elbow Twitter feed, which was featured in the Plain Dealer (LeBron's Elbow Says He's Fine. Honest.) and the Fake Scoop section of SB Nation (LeBron's Elbow? No, the Elbow Patches Are the Problem). I guess I'll be biting my nails between now and Saturday afternoon while fervently hoping that this is all a big fake-out on his part to lull the Celtics into a false sense of security and then . . . Welcome to LeBron's block party! 

Here in Cleveland? I Didn't Know They Still Had a Team!

This is from the (rather lengthy!) comment I made last week on Brave Astronaut's post about how much he hearts April:

And also: I'm going to the Indians home opener on Monday afternoon. (Hence the use of my Grady Sizemore/Jensen Lewis/Tom Hamilton* - autographed DVD of MAJOR LEAGUE [deluxe edition w/ AstroTurf cover!] as a profile photo.) 



It's my first time at a home opener, but I think it's one of those things everybody should do once — like being in Times Square on New Year's Eve. So, done and done.


Anyhow: The current conditions in Cleveland are 36 degrees and rain/snow. The weatherpeople around here insist it will be back up to the 60s by Monday afternoon, but perhaps they just want to be able to chortle from the comfort of their climate-controlled studios while the Progressive Field cam shows stands full of shivering shorts-wearers. I myself am probably going to be bringing a blanket, just in case.



* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Hamilton_(broadcaster)

So, further bulletins as events warrant.

Friday Timewaster: Spring Training and Snuggies

I'm looking forward to today's sporting festivities. Of course, I'm usually somewhat optimistic at this time of day, before minor annoyances and petty grievances have conspired to alter my mood.


Let's see, the first broadcast from Spring Training is in  . . . . 

and the world record for Snuggie-wearing will be attempted in . . .


Well, I don't have a snazzy countdown clock for that, but the Cavs people should have put one on the site. Instead, you'll have to look at this:

Oh my.




On the plus side, I'm choosing to believe the AP reports that Z will re-sign with the Cavs in a few weeks. Yay! This being Cleveland, though, I'm sure the universe will conspire against me somehow. ¹
 


Things are looking up, though: The snow is melting and the sun has made an appearance. Maybe this will be the Tribe's year. . . .    




Don't laugh!  I just finished listening to a collection of short stories and poems about baseball (titled, imaginatively, Baseball!), so I am almost as pumped for the first game as if I had just watched all three Major Leagues.² 

Acclaimed actors from stage and screen perform tales from the baseball diamond in this newest, three-CD collection of stories from Selected Shorts. Both classic and contemporary works are featured, including a heartwarming piece on some fan habits during a players' strike, by W.P. Kinsella, and a sidesplitting account from T. Coraghessan Boyle of the longest game ever. Many of the readings were recorded during a historic broadcast of the show hosted by the late, beloved baseball commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti. From the first pitch to the final out, these short stories are a lively listening experience.

¹ I read this on Joe Posnanski's blog the other day, and loved it:

Cleveland is Cleveland. Cleveland is ethnic and sarcastic and covered in snow. Cleveland is optimistically pessimistic (or pessimistically optimistic) and bigger than you think and smaller than it used to be. Cleveland has a great symphony, a great art museum, a great playhouse and the vast majority of people in town (including me) would rather watch the Browns. Cleveland has potholes and abandoned buildings and has not won a championship since 1964. Cleveland has brick houses and close-knit neighborhoods and a lot of ice cream shops. The sky is often gray.

— Snuggies on Parade

The whole essay is great and I highly recommend reading all of it, but this snippet with the optimistically pessimistic/pessimistically optimistic struck a chord with me, especially at the start of the season when hope springs eternal. 






² Or just the first one, three times. 

Some Observations

It's nice to know that there's one team in Cleveland who can beat a team from Baltimore . . .

Although it's rather sad when your baseball team outscores your football team . . .

If I'm Depressed, It Must Be Cleveland Sports

So, yeah . . .

I was going to say that I was really looking forward to the Cavs season right about now — given that, at this rate, the Indians are mathematically eliminated from the 2010 postseason and that the Brady Quinn era has started not with a bang but the whimpering of a team who got its a$$ handed to it by the frackin' Broncos (I still hate John Elway with the passion of a thousand burning nuns!) — but then Delonte got nailed on weapons charges, and if he winds up suspended or cut, Shabron has one less dude to pass to, not like they had that many producers on the floor in the first place.

And I'm totally blaming the West shenanigans on the new marketing person, who totally jinxed us last week when she launched into a mini-soliloquy at lunch about how great the guys on the Cavs are, not just as players but as nice guys, upstanding members of the community, if you will, who don't get arrested or otherwise get publicity for unsavory reasons, etc. and so on. I said, Knock on wood, and did, but obviously my mojo was no match for the universe's perpetual F You! to Northeast Ohio.

Sigh.

Shaqtastic?

I'm hoping this Shaq thing doesn't turn out to be Sean Kemp 2.0: Overpaid and injury-ridden.

On the plus side, it's given us something to talk about besides our football player who hit someone with his car and our baseball players who can't hit anything.

Major Disappointment

Major League Monday turned into a no-relief-pitching, non-pinch-hitting, mis-managing nightmare. A few bright spots:

• the post-game fireworks show
  
  
• getting a Rick Vaughn bobble head
  
  
• the shout-out to the California Penal League during the scoreboard's list of special groups in attendance
  
  
• Major League trivia and clips shown on the scoreboard between innings

Some commentary from teh interwebs:

USA TODAY's GOAT OF THE DAY: The entire Cleveland Indians bullpen.

The Indians, which led 12-7 in the sixth inning, watched their bullpen self-destruct once again, with their playoff hopes suffering another body blow.

The quartet of Greg Aquino, Luis Vizcaino, Matt Herges and Rafael Perez gave up six hits, six walks and eight runs in just 2 1/3 innings.

"We had a really bad night on the mound from multiple people," Cleveland manager Eric Wedge said. "We continually got ourselves in bad situations, and they kept coming. We have to just keep looking for guys to step up and get it done."

The Indians lead the American League with 261 walks — an average of four per game.

If nothing else, they proved they could fit right in if there is ever another sequel to the movie, Major League. The Indians honored the 20-year anniversary of the movie when Brewers Hall of Fame announcer Bob Uecker threw out the first pitch and handed out bobblehead dolls of Ricky Vaughn, who was the erratic reliever in the film. Uecker played the Indians play-by-play man Harry Doyle.

MLB Fanhouse: You Oughta Know ...

That the Indians had a night to forget on a day they honored a movie about their days as lovable losers. The Brewers and famed announced Bob Uecker were in town for a memorable night in which Uecker's team was on the right end of a few big homers.

The Indians led 8-3 in the fifth and 12-7 in the eighth before the Brewers scored seven runs to win, including four on Prince Fielder's first career grand slam. Fielder's big blast was set up by three consecutive Indians walks, which Uecker must have called by saying "Ball Four. Ball Eight. Ball 12."

Brewers broadcaster Bob Uecker, otherwise known as Harry Doyle to Major League movie fans, delivered the ceremonial first pitch before Monday's game. Uecker's pitch? It was a little low (bounced) and outside.

— Chuck Crow/The Plain Dealer

I missed the actual first pitch because I had to lug my pre-game party supplies back to the car, but we amused ourselves in the stands by reciting lines from the movie, reenacting Uecker's Miller Lite ads, debating Wedge's managerial skills (or lack thereof), decrying the lack of supporting pitching, and trying to decide what would be worse: losing, or tying it up in the bottom of the 9th and going to extra innings.

I stuck around because I am a to-the-bitter-end–er, plus I wanted to see the fireworks. So, I didn't start heading to the car until 11:30 . . . Note that the first pitch was at 7:05. Oof! I pity the crew that came up from Zanesville and faced a three-hour trip back home.

One Way to Liven Up a Sunday Afternoon

My dad cut his finger while he was making dinner yesterday, and I spent almost four hours in the ER waiting room while he got five stitches.

He'll be fine,  but this little adventure made me miss the bottom of the ninth, when the Indians finally managed to get a base hit and beat the Yankees. Thank goodness for teh interwebs!

I'm Psychic!

I was listening to the Indians-Rays game while I was driving up from Akron last night, and the score was 10-2 when I pulled up to the stoplight near my place. I thought, Well, they could still come back and win it . . .

Fast-forward a few hours, and ta-dah!

Indians score seven in ninth to beat Rays
Tribe rallies from 10-run deficit to pull out thrilling victory

Picked the Wrong Week to Quit Drinking

Man, last night was not good to the front-runners: Glambert, the Cavs, and the Royals all lost. Bummer, dude. Oh wait: I mean, Go Tribe!

In other news, I followed through on my threat to call in to my friend's book club meeting and have him put me on speaker so I could give my (low) opinion of the book (Last Night at the Lobster).

Basically, I thought all the characters were a bunch of sad sacks, the whole thing was depressing, and it's a good thing it was short. Apparently a few people agreed with me.

Sadly, since my attendance was virtual, I missed out on those awesome Red Lobster biscuits. Maybe I'll talk the 'rents into going out to eat this weekend.

Burning question: What's the appropriate foodstuff to accompany the next discussion, which is about the zombie version of Pride and Prejudice?

This Week in Grady

Borrowing liberally from a fellow Bobcat's baseball blog . . .

It's a dichotomy of a day.

As part of WKYC's "Weather Education Days" program, there are thousands of little kids here as part of class field trips. As I walked into the ballpark this morning, the screaming kids were enjoying the song and dance routine of people dressed up as a rain drop, a cloud and a sun (with sunglasses, of course... which is kind of like a bug spraying itself with OFF!). I believe the Jonas Brothers were playing over the speakers, but don't quote me on that.

And then, on the other end of the spectrum, we've got Nathan Followill, drummer for the rock group Kings of Leon, in the house. The Kings are performing tonight at the Tower City Amphitheater -- or whatever name it's referred to these days -- and Followill threw out a ceremonial first pitch.

Followill was here at the invitation of Grady Sizemore, who is a big fan of the Kings.

"It's safe to say that's my favorite band," Sizemore said.

Grady met them after a show over the offseason, and he's a little bummed out that the Indians' travel plans (they are bound for Tampa immediately following today's game) won't allow him to check out tonight's show.

No word on Sizemore's feelings about the Jonas Brothers.

— CastroTurf

I Could Watch This All Day

This is my favorite part of Grady's appearance on That's Life . . . . especially the first ten or fifteen seconds.

The part where he's all about the Chucks just makes me laugh. And squee. Mostly squee.

If I'm a Little Distracted This Morning

. . . It's because I'm OD'ing on Grady at SizemoreFan.com.

I found it because I was looking for footage from Grady's appearance on That's Life with Robin Swoboda, since I stupidly neglected to set my VCR on Monday morning.

I kind of wish I had video of the promo she did — she was super-excited to be in Arizona for spring training, and was joking about being Mrs. Sizemore. Grady was just pretty much just staring at her, like, "Are you for real?" and then he finally decided to laugh. So cute!

Ha! This quote in the sidebar on the fan site cracks me up:

I should have told the interviewers to ask about his wardrobe. Grady's 110% a metrosexual.

— Jason Bay

He did look quite spiffy last year.

And We're Underway in Goodyear, AZ

As you may or may not know/care, another season of Indians baseball kicks off this afternoon with the first spring training game at the new facility in Goodyear.

I've spent part of the morning e-mailing a sales rep about tickets for the two group outings I'm setting up, looking through the photo galleries on WTAM, and reading articles on Indians.com. I caught part of an interview with Grady on Sports Time Ohio a few days ago, but maybe I'll kill time until 3 p.m. looking for additional footage/images online. Or at least watch some Major League clips on YouTube.

Yeah, that's the ticket. Work, shmerk.

I Thought I Was the Only One Who Did That

In conjunction with my recent Facebook status ("Amy wants to wear her MILWAUKEE INDIANS t-shirt to the Indians-Brewers game on 6/15: Rick Vaughn bobblehead night!"), I give you this letter from the most recent CastroTurf* mailbag . . .

I wanted to let you know about a Spring Training/Major League party that is going to take place at Stampers Bar and Grille in Fairview Park on Thursday, February 12, starting at 4 p.m. This party was started years ago at a place called Jerry's, where they gathered at the start of Spring Training as they watched Major League and hoped that this was our year. I am trying to get the word out, so if we could get your help it would be greatly appreciated.

— John C.

Nice to see that I'm not the only one who likes to kick off the season that way. I usually watch it at home, but I may have to attend this year's public screening.

In other news . . .

I joined forces with the Leper Colony last night, only to drag them down to my usual fifth-place finish. Stay tuned for the full recap.

* It's a blog about the Indians, written by the Indians beat reporter for MLB.com. He's also an OU grad and a former Vandelay Industries intern. Nice.

Nothing Melts Snow Like a Hot Stove

So, in case you hadn't heard, it snowed in Northeast Ohio last weekend.

WTAM helped us warm up by replaying a classic Indians game on Sunday afternoon, and the Plain Dealer is sharing photos from the new spring training facility in Arizona . . . where Grady is already hard at work.

Want more workout pix with even odder grimaces?
Check out the slideshow on cleveland.com.

And to top it all off with some stadium mustard, this was in the paper this morning:

Indians seek Fun Bunch workers to wear hot dog costumes

The Cleveland Indians have signed a closer, a third baseman and a starting pitcher this off-season, but three crucial positions remain unfilled.

To be winners, the Tribe needs wieners.

Specifically: fit folks who can don the Ketchup, Mustard and Onion hot dog costumes and sprint around the foul lines for fan amusement. The race has become a mid-game fan favorite. There's even a Web site, ketchupcheats.com, dedicated to exposing the conniving condiment. And the Tribe is dead serious about its dogs. An ad on the team's Web site for "Fun Bunch" seasonal workers notes: "Applicants must have some type of previous training in high school sports/track and cardiorespiratory endurance between 400-800 meters. Running skills will be tested as Fun Bunch employees will be required to participate in the Hot Dog Races."

Let's just hope the Tribe scouts don't find the king of all Ketchups, only to have the Yankees swoop in and sign him for $18 an hour.

— Michael K. McIntyre

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: DJ John - It Takes Two To Kiss (Rob Base vs. Prince)
via FoxyTunes