Hey, Mike D: You Suck!*

Seriously, last night's Pub Quiz was terrible. And I'm not just saying that because we came in fifth . . . . again.** Our team (Mike D's G-Mail Buddies) probably should have stayed home. We were all kind of cranky and tired and sick to varying degrees.*** Thus, we were not in the right frame of mind for bullshit categories like "Engineering, Numbers, and Jesus," which should have been titled "Just Pick a Number and Pray."

What else? Mike D wore his new shirt: Liz Claiborne, from Marshall's; I forgot to really look at it, although I think it is perhaps a solid dark color and not striped in any way. Plus, the Leper Colony was back. I forgot what annoying jerks they are, especially when they're cleaning our clock in
"Engineering, Numbers, and Jesus" and nitpicking over what is and what is not an acronym. Ugh.

* Since Mike D's mom wasn't there last night to yell out "You suck!" at appropriate intervals (i.e., every round), I feel compelled to shout it across teh internets.

** I wasn't supposed to mention this, but why not: There were only six teams.

*** After one of my more spectacular coughing fits, Mike D pointed to us and said, "I think the next raffle prize should be cold medicine for this team."

Round 1: People and Places — 6 points
Round 2: Filmography and Films — 6 points
Round 3:
Engineering, Numbers, and Jesus — 2 points
Round 4: Records and Feats — 7 points
Round 5: A Grab Bag of Funnery — 7 points
Round 6: Acronyms and Animals — 7 points

At halftime, we were in fifth place, ahead of Team McCafferty but four points behind the Flying Monkeys, who were only one point behind Team 11. The Leper Colony was beating Team 11 by one point, but Knife Fight really pulled ahead with 24 points to take first. I don't know how they managed to get 8 points in each round.

The final standings were almost the same, except that Team 11 managed to trade places with the Leper Colony and take second place. Ha ha. </Nelson>

Looking over the actual point totals, I see that we were only five points away from taking third place (gift card and a bottle of wine).
Or, conversely, seven points away from coming in dead last and winning a samurai sword.

Quotable Quotes and Notable Notes
  • In the first round, there was a question about the astronomer who established that objects fall at the same rate. Cathy first suggested Galileo, which turned out to be right, but I suggested Copernicus and she wrote that down instead. Then she said, "Tycho Brahe" and I said, "What?" so she repeated it, more forcefully: "Tycho Brahe!" and I repeated, "What?"

    She said it again, slowly, and I said, "Tico Rocket?" while picturing some combination of Tico Torres and Rikki Rocket and not this guy:

    Tycho Brahe

    She got frustrated with my inability to understand and grabbed my notebook to write it down. I looked at it, and said, "Who's that?" She's all, "An astronomer!" Me: "Really? Where's he from? What time period?" Her: "Uhm, I don't know. I didn't pay attention to everything in science class."

    So, "Tycho Brahe" was kind of our go-to smart remark for a while, until it reminded us of "Rico Suave" and we started getting giggly over all the goofiness on display in this video:

  • A question from Round 2: What's the name of the pub in An American Werewolf in London? Christine: "Claddagh."

  • When the title of round 5 was announced, "A Grab Bag of Funnery," Cathy said, "Your pants?" and Christine declared that every answer should be "Mike D's pants."

  • Speaking of clothing . . . Mike D kept describing the t-shirts he raffled off as "clean laundry," which I consider a personal shout-out. I was actually wearing one of the t-shirts I won a few weeks ago, under my turtleneck sweater — both of which I had managed to put on backwards yesterday morning, yet didn't realize it until after lunch. So, that tells you roughly how mentally equipped I was to name two numbers whose difference is thirteen but when added together equal 89 or to recall the number of stars on the Australian flag. Christ.

  • We got excited for one raffle prize: A free dessert! Finally, something awesome! But somebody from Team 11 won it. Bastards!

  • Paul McCartney came up (Which Beatle was the first to release a solo album in the Soviet Union?) and I pointed out that he resembles Angela Lansbury. Christine thought about it, and was amazed to find that she agreed. I couldn't take complete credit for the observation, though: This is one of Craig Ferguson's go-to jokes. Every time he makes a comment about Paul, he asks his producers if they have a photo of Paul, and then they cut to a photo of Angela. Comedy gold!

  • I could, however, take complete credit for noticing that the sucky song playing while Mike D tabulated the results bore an uncanny resemblance to the Phil Collins version of "A Groovy Kind of Love" yet was not "A Groovy Kind of Love." Urk. Now I have that song stuck in my head. Thanks a lot, Mike D. You suck!


  1. Miked's shirt was striped, actually ... I believe it was a mostly black shirt striped with olive green. I may be off on the color, since it's kinda dark in the pub, but there were definitely stripes sticking out of that collar.

    I must say I was terribly disappointed ... since he made a point of announcing he was making a wardrobe change, I was expecting something more dramatic. Polka dots ... or maybe a zany tie. A zany polka-dotted tie. Something.

    But maybe he made the announcement because, otherwise, no one would have even noticed. I mean, it's not like anyone ever looks at him.

  2. And your "Groovy" song may be a Fallout Boy tune. Hmm. I don't know why I think that other than musically, I thought it sounded like Fallout Boy.

    Man, I want to dance like Gerardo again. Remember when school dances looked like an aerobics class?

  3. Is this the song??? It's the only Fallout Boy song that I can think of that has that hook.


    AND I WAS NOT ON SPEED!!!!!!!!

  4. I think you tracked it down . . . It sort of sounds the same.