Dying of Thirst

So, when I was at the grocery store yesterday, I spent at least five minutes dithering in the beverages section. Not the tasty adult beverages section, either — and I have totally spent more than five minutes dithering in that section. No, this was the soda/water/juice area. 

I wanted some type of liquid in portable form, but I didn't want pop (Well, I wanted pop, but I shouldn't, so I ignored that portion of the aisle.) and I didn't want Gatorade/Propel "fitness" "sports drinks," and I couldn't decide what flavor of juice, so that left me with plain old water, which seemed like a waste of money. I thought I'd get some flavored water but I didn't like any of the options — mostly because you had to commit to a six-pack of it, and what if I thought it was totally barfy and could barely drink one? — so in desperation I grabbed some random four-pack of cranberry-flavored water and then got swayed by the BOGO-type special* and snagged a four-pack of cherry limeade (obviously the store's muzak was rotting my brain). 

However, I should have read the ingredients portion of the labels before I trotted over to the checkout, because there's some kind of icky artificial sweetner in them and they taste gross. And I'm stuck with six bottles of the stuff. Sigh. 

Maybe I can cut it with a tasty adult beverage, and then I won't notice the fake sugar? Hmm. I guess I know what I'll be doing later tonight . . . 

*  "I went clothes shopping today at the K-Mart.  I think when I say K-Mart we're all hip to the fact that I'm talking style central.  I picked up a couple of  short sleeve suits . . . a little Century 21 blazer for the holidays, you know.  The thing I hate about these cheap clothing stores is they have these two-for-one sales. Hey folks, two of shit is SHIT! If they really want to fuck you they'll give you three of these things. Yeah, that's all I need is three lime-green leisure suits, with lapels shaped like a fucking hang glider."  — Dennis Miller



  1. What are your feelings about IZZE sparkling juice? There's no refined sugars, but it still feels kinda like pop, if you squint your eyes ....

  2. I think I had an IZZE once at Chipotle, and have decided to give it a thumbs-down. The flavors are a little too strange — it's hard to combine them with food — and since it's fizzy, I expect it to be sweet, but it's not (overly) sweet, so then I'm disappointed.

    I should have bought some Snapple, but they only had iced tea, and I have iced tea mix at home. Where's a bottle of kiwi strawberry when you need a flashback to sophomore year of college?!