Weekend Viewing: TMNT or Shooter?

I'm on the fence about seeing the new Ninja Turtles movie. I was into them the first time around, and I still have a few boxes of assorted paraphernalia that may or may not be worth fifty cents on eBay. (Slippers! Coloring books! Comic books! Watch! Bank!)

As I mentioned at lunch on Wednesday, I once had a birthday party with a Ninja Turtle theme — cake, plates, napkins, table cloth, banner. I even had Ninja Turtle candles on the cake. (I might still have those somewhere. I'll have to check the junk drawer at my parents' house.) One of the editors feigned polite interest as I related all this, and then the other proofreader asked: How old were you? Me: Sixteen. Everyone else: Uproarious laughter.

At any rate, I was thinking of taking my cousins to see it, but maybe not. I'm not really planning on a trip to Akron anytime soon (well, maybe next weekend), plus I read Teddy's Take on it. Here's a snippet from his review:

I didn't care much for the new movie. First of all, the film is hyper-violent. It's rated PG, and all of the chop-suey bashing and trashing is bloodless. But there are so many fights, so many crashes, and so many knock-down/drag-out scuffles in this flick, many parents may find themselves actively worrying about their little ones sitting next to them. Even worse, the filmmakers don't seem to have much faith that the Turtles are interesting enough characters. So they overstuff the movie with a menagerie of nightmarish demons, creatures, human mercenary ninjas, and other sinister lifeforms and saddle the movie with an opening-a-portal-to-Hell storyline ripped right out of Ghostbusters, Stargate, and Alien vs. Predator.
Maybe I'll have more fun watching the original movie on tape at home. And laughing at this cartoon:

Next option: Shooter. About which I know next to nothing. Except that it has, as the other proofreader puts it, "Marky Mark and the Shooty Bunch." (Hee!) Since I stole that, I may as well steal the other half of her description: "Dirk Diggler stars in ... oh, wait ... that's a gun."

I think we'll head to Brendan's for some preshow drooling . . . I mean, dinner — unless the combination of Hot Guy at Gym + Hot Bartender + Hot Movie Star puts the OP over the Recommended Daily Allowance for Hotness. Although I don't think she would mind OD'ing on that. (ETA: I was right. She says: There is no RDA for hotness. Soak up as much as you can — it's good for you.)

Teddy thinks Shooter is pretty much a rip-off of many, much better films. I'm sure he's right, but I'm also pretty sure I don't care.

Fun fact: Elias Koteas, who played Casey in the first Ninja Turtle movie, is also in Shooter!


  1. As long as DirkyMark takes his shirt off, who cares what the film is about?

  2. Wow. You are on fire. "DirkyMark." Snerk.

    Too bad it's almost ten hours until the movie starts. You're going to get dehydrated with all the drooling over the movie poster. Maybe you should start drinking now, just to compensate.