It's Kind of a Rattle and Hum But Not in a U2 Kind of Way

So, you know how the car starts making a weird noise and you ignore it for a bit and then it gets really loud and long and frequent and you can still hear it over the new mix CD* you made so you freak out and take it to the shop but when the mechanic drives it around the block to hear this mystery sound that you can't accurately reproduce with human vocal cords the car suddenly gets a case of the shys and clams up like a two-year-old who just realized that he doesn't know half the people in the room and where's his mommy, anyway?

So, you're sitting there like an idiot, insisting that there is so a noise and maybe he needs to drive at 40 miles an hour with the left turn signal on while the rear passenger side window is down a quarter-inch or some other ridiculous combination that may or may not replicate the exact conditions under which the buzz usually occurs and he's being generally quiet and outwardly patient but you're pretty sure he's judging you as some kind of hysterical girl who cries wolf when it comes to mechanical issues and calculating how fast he can extricate himself from the situation when it finally makes the frakkin' noise for a millisecond, and you're like There! Did you hear that?! in a triumphant tone.

So, he allows as how he did hear something that could be an exhaust rattle, which makes you even more elated because they were just working on the exhaust a couple of weeks ago — right before this horrible noise started, so it has been your hypothesis all along that they didn't completely tighten a bolt somewhere, causing noticeable vibrations at certain speeds — but of course you can't gloat too much and anyway he's still taking about doing a visual inspection and blah blah blah drops you off at the office cakes** and you come in but don't really feel like doing any work and then you can't do any work anyhow because (a) you have this exciting story to tell about your momentary triumph of woman over machine and (b) your coworker has to let off some steam by ranting about, uh, work stuff.

So, you know, that happened this morning. And I only have to get up, get dressed, and come to work for two more mornings this week, which is awesome. I originally requested Friday off when I thought I was going to Columbus for OU vs. OSU on Saturday. I'm not, but I'm still ditching work. And there was much rejoicing   . . .

* That's right: Still makin' mix CDs in 2010. Keep hope alive.

** "Blah blah blah fishcakes" being, of course, one of the great TWOP-isms of all time.

No comments:

Post a Comment