My Mind, It Boggles

Another installment of Facebook Messaging Theater . . .

Status Update 3:15 pm
Amy isn't quite sure how one has sex with a picnic table. On, okay. Under, fine. But with?

Matt 3:20 pm

picnic table?

Amy 3:22 pm

Man Admits To Having Sex With Picnic Table
- News Story - WEWS Cleveland


BELLEVUE, Ohio — A northern Ohio man admits to having sex with a picnic table several times this year. Monday, June 23, 2008.

3:23 pm

It popped up in the "Local News" tab of my Yahoo Mail page ... I was almost afraid to click on it.

The story offers no explanation of why the neighbor videotaped it ... four times!

Matt 3:26 pm

Ok, now I am intrigued by the mechanics of it. I mean, was it wood or steel? Did he have a naughty knot hole in the wood, or perhaps a metal pipe that was his "special friend"?

And on his deck in plain sight? Really?
If you're gonna have a fetish for inanimate objects, wouldn't you want to keep that secret?

Matt 3:26 pm

The neighbor probably videotaped it because he hated the guy. Or that nobody believed him!

Amy 3:31 pm

I was talking about this with Cathy just now, and she also suggested a knothole. But ... splinters?

She said the neighbor probably taped it since this guy was near a school and the cops would need evidence. I prefer to think that it's for his private entertainment/amusement, but maybe I'm just strange.

Matt 3:36 pm

I would say if he videotaped it more than once, he was trying to get the neighbor put away. Once would've been enough to tell police. Hell, nicer neighbors would've just put an anonymous note in his mailbox to say "Hey, caught you doin' it outside. Knock it off or your neighbors will call the cops."

Amy 3:37 pm

Yeah, you're probably right.

Ugh: The photo of the guy is totally skeeving me out, too.

Matt 3:43 pm

The picnic table outside my window is making eyes at me.

Amy 3:44 pm

Ha!!!! Good luck resisting its (feminine?) wiles . . .

Now playing on iTunes: A.C. Newman - On the Table
via FoxyTunes

1 comment:

  1. ----- Forwarded Message ----
    From: Matt
    To: Amy
    Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2008 7:56:11 AM
    Subject: facebook blocked

    so, facebook's blocked at work now. yay.
    just as well... was spending too much time over there.