The Crack of the Bat and the Green of the Grass

I think I have a sore throat and the sniffles. Maybe I'm coming down with Indians Fever?

While I'm catching up with
the day's events in Winter Haven, you can join the United Countries of Baseball.

Or read a lovely excerpt from Joe Posnanski's blog:

It’s spring training time, and you know what that means.

Report: Grass Is Green Again This Year

SURPRISE, Ariz. — After an off-season of doubt, several unnamed sources have confirmed that the grass at spring training sites across America is, in fact, green.

“There’s nothing better than coming to spring training and seeing the green grass,” said one baseball executive. “It always amazes me to come out here and see how green the grass looks,” said a Major League player.“Yep. Green,” said a sportswriter.

The color of the grass, which was reported in more than two dozen newspapers across America, is caused by chlorophyl that is used in a process called “photosynthesis.” A quick survey indicates that the grass is a brilliant green at the Mariners complex in Peoria, it is a vivid green at the Rays camp in St. Pete, immaculate green in Clearwater (even though the Phillies have left), and, and officials are anticipating emerald green at Fenway Park. Sources in Surprise call the grass here viridescent, but those were sources with a thesaurus handy.

It marks the one millionth consecutive year that grass has come out green.

“And somehow, it’s always a surprise,” one source said. He would not indicate if the green grass had anything to do with baseball’s recuperative powers or offered positive proof that time begins on Opening Day. He did say it is good to “hear the crack of the bat.” The source also conceded that there is no better five-word combination in the English Language than “Pitchers and catchers report today.” *

* What about "Free money handed out here”?

Or "World peace begins right now."

Or "Britney and Paris disappear together."

Or "Chocolate cake with raspberry sauce"

Or "Michael Bolton gives up singing."

Or "American Idol canceled; Simon tortured."

Or "I found your baseball cards."

Or "Scarlett Johansson asked me out."

Or "Matt Damon asked me out."

Or "We will double your salary."

Or "All you can eat spaghetti."

Or "We only serve Coke products."

Or "Go sleep three more hours."

Or "Chocolate Haagen-Dazs with strawberries"

Or "They bid above list price."

Or "Belichick fell in a manhole."

3,382 Words about Nothing

And the day wouldn't be complete without a splash of Major League and some Grady eye candy.

Grady Sizemore in spring training — Dan Mendlik/Cleveland Indians
Grady Sizemore in spring training — Dan Mendlik/Cleveland Indians

These seem to beg for some funny captions along the lines of LOL Jocks, but I'm not that clever. There are some great spring training pix here, though. This one is probably the best:

Eric Wedge, manager of your 2007 AL Central Division Champions, the Cleveland Indians

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