Also Known as Lucy (and/or Ethel)

I found an article in the Roseville (Calif.) Press-Tribune about people who give fake names when ordering at Starbucks. Finally! Some media recognition for an affliction I also share: Not wanting to give my name to every Bubbles and Grumpy Lady behind the counter at the Panera down the street from the office.

That's right: I call them Grumpy Lady and Bubbles. They can call me Annoying Girl Who Always Asks Me to Use Her Order Number Instead of Giving Her Name (Like Anybody Cares What It Is Anyhow, Loser!) — I don't care.

An aside: Bubbles was actually on his name tag one day, but I think his name is really Brian. He's wicked annoying no matter what his name is, though. One of those people who wants to tease and joke with you when all you want to do is order your frickin' $7 sandwich and get the heck out of there because you only have a half hour. (I'm not explaining this well, because I don't mind teasing/joking, but this is the kind that just gets on my nerves ... like those people who tell you "Smile!" and won't shut up about it.)

Anyhow, Panera used to have the perfectly good policy of numbering each order as it was entered in the system, printing each number on the receipt, and then calling out each number as the order was ready for pickup. Then some higher-up must have decided that it makes them more friendly if they use people's names, and I began to be interrogated on a regular basis.

While I am not as spazzy as this woman

Some woman told me it against the law in all 50 states to ask her her name because some pervert might be waiting to kidnap her. He could do this because he was waiting to hear her name called out and grab her.

Starbucks Gossip
Posted by June Jan 16, 2007 8:57:57 AM

I still don't see the need for them to call me by name. I know what I ordered. I do not need my name announced over the loudspeaker or yelled across the room. So, I either ask for them to use my order number (which sometimes prompts the question, What order number would you like? — Uhm, the one the computer uses is fine.) or, just to switch it up sometimes, I'll give a faux handle like Lucy or Ethel. Maybe one day I'll throw in a Ricky or a Fred.

Sigh. Despite my deep disgruntlement about this, I am stuck with Panera for lunch because there are a limited number of food options in the immediate vicinity of the office — especially now that the Toxic Hell burned down.

Thanks to Pop Culture Junk Mail for the entry that inspired this post.